Friday, February 8, 2008

"If you`re going through hell, keep going"

I hope everyone knows we made it home (to Dolores) about 2 weeks ago. I want everyone (including Gareth) to know that Gareth has been my inspiration to continue to put forth the efforts that are clearly required for me to resume my life as it once was and will be again someday, so I thank, love, and admire you Gareth. I continue to pray (to Buddha) our future will be an improvement over the present, which is a hell and a challenge on many fronts. We will keep going through this hell until we have made it through, Gareth, just you keep believing, because I see that we will be a stronger, more resilient couple when we have survived this....(blog title and reference is a Winston Churchill quote on a greeting card that I came across while going through the myriad of my belongings when I got home; it is now posted on our refrigerator and seems to fit the situation). My thanks to the Osprey Corp for my "Gareth time" -we both have learned his value, which Osprey has finally reclaimed now that we have made it home! Hoping my patients will get to claim me back soon too!

The single most challenging aspect of being home is that the last time I was here, I had nothing physically wrong with me. The reminders of my life as it was prior to the bike accident are just everywhere. The snow, however, is not a reminder and does not bring back any memories of life in Dolores (this is more snow than I have ever seen here, yeah skiers!) I am also struggling with my inability to do things in a timely fashion (but I am getting a bit quicker, though still a bit sloppy, not a new feature but one that has been magnified by the injury and is definitely a challenge for Gareth to keep up with!) The list of my little physical deficits could go on but I will spare everyone and not list them here.

However, being home has its positive sides: my own bed and belongings; the doggies; the wonderful friends who have given up their free time to drive me to Cortez to get to therapy; my physical, occupational, and speech therapists; no more "hospital" dinners and frequent "whenever needed" espressos! The sheer amount of occupational therapies we all do daily is amazing and forcing me to keep getting better at doing the littlest things. Keep praying that my left side and my vision strengthen and I will see you all as soon as I can (let's hope I only see one of you and not two, which is the double vision rearing its ugly head)...marilyn

9 comments:

Alison said...

Mar, You and Gareth have come such a long way. We are thankful for you both, your efforts, your inspiration, and the reminder of for just how much we all have to be thankful.

I, like many of us who don't live in/near Dolores, wish I could just stop by and say hi. I think of you often, and call every now and then to leave a message--please don't worry about calling back unless you have time and energy. I know that you and Gareth are busy and working very hard. Just know that us non-Dolorians (is that right?) are thinking of you and sending all kinds of energy your way!

Lots of love, Alison, Eric, and Eddie (who's starting to take a few steps ... !!)

barbandmichael said...

Hello Marilyn and Gareth,
What a great quote from Churchill
...he was a man of few, precise and true words on so many occasions! You two have me thinking of old songs/quotes these days that have influenced my life. In concert choir we used to sing a beautiful song from the musical "Carousel": 'When you walk thru a storm keep your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet, silver song of a lark. Walk on thru the rain, walk on thru the wind, tho' your dreams be tossed and torn. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone...you'll never walk alone.' Hope you know that we are all walking beside you both even if you can't see us. Much love your way.....Barb

Anonymous said...

Really glad that you're home, there truly is no place like it, especially when you need to heal. My prayers are with you.

A friend of a friend

Michelle Flaherty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle Flaherty said...

Hi Marilyn,

I don't know if you remember me. We graduated from Maine South High School together. I was just wasting time online and decided to go down memory lane and checked out Maine South's alumni site. They had a link to your blog. First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your accident, but it sounds like you have made great strides since then!! I know some people (mainly online friends) who have also experienced a TBI. I'm so pleased to hear about your progress! As you may remember I've been disabled all my life. I can certainly relate to many of the things you mentioned -- hospital stays and physical therapy, etc. Good times! HAHA Anyways, please feel free to write back if you wish, but if not, that's ok! :) I know we didn't know each other very well in H.S. but I do believe you may have signed a few of my yearbooks!! Take care and continued luck with your progress!
Sincerely,

Michelle Flaherty
My e-mail address is:

SBGIRL1971@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Marilyn,

I am so glad to hear you are back home. I have been thinking about you and reading about your progress on the blog. My prayers are with you. I ran across a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that got me through some tough times, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Gareth soungs like a wonderful person and I wish you continued success on your road to recovery.

Your cuz,
Beth

Judy said...

Marilyn, You are amazing. And as a nurse I am proud to share a corner of that piece of your identity. You will surely be a great inspiration and educator in your nursing practice when you return. I know how important that is to you and hope it is sooner than later. But I also know how hard it is for health care professionals to say me first even when it is very important.
This blog is not only a way for you to keep friends and relatives updated on what is happening with you and your injury, but it is a great lesson for all of us on how we can learn to grow and glow in very difficult circumstances. You even glow in your expression of anger and frustration. What role models you and Gareth are.
Gareth, I am amazed at your ability to express your feelings with such openness honesty and love, and I think the writing profession needs both of you. I have seldom enjoyed a read as much as your blog. What a wonderful picture you and your friends paint. I am enjoying the picture of you walking down your snowy street.
Go Marilyn. Go Gareth. Enjoy your lives together and throw snowballs when you need to let off steam.
Fondly, Judy McKeon and Tom.

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