Long Time, No Blog

I realized today that it has been almost a month since we last posted. There are many reasons for this, some good, some bad. No time wasted here on spinning either side of the coin - here is where April 22 finds us. Since our initial foray into the desert we've had two more canyon adventures. This past weekend we camped out again and hiked nearly five miles round trip. Marilyn's walking is becoming more and more solid - a week ago she even walked the entire "beanfield" (in mud and snow) above town. Her cognition and speech becomes clearer and more concise each and every day. I have no doubt that she will not only be able to work as a Nurse Practitioner again, she will be able to excel and increase her knowledge base with the passion she did before. Demonstrated by her success at whipping through online CME's (Continuing Medical Education). In the weeks since our first return to Craig hospital, which also coincided with her 37th birthday her progress has been solid and strong. Not coincidentally, she started acupuncture again and in my observations this has been one of Marilyn's most important and effective treatments throughout her recovery.

Last week we returned to Denver for an eye follow-up and some testing and follow-up with the neurologist who followed her from very early on in her injury. All positive news with her eyes slowly getting better, though double vision still plagues her and her neurological recovery continuing strongly. However, we've realized that these trips are very cathartic for us both. Not only do they mark progress, they lead us to confront the depth and gravity of what has happened. Marilyn's path to recovery, though always positive in prognosis, has been shrouded by clouds that only clear with time. Each visit has pushed the clouds back a bit more and we learn more about what to ultimately expect when all this is "over". It's far from all good.

Note the quotes - it's never over. And that is some heavy shit to assimilate. In aid of that, our personal spiritual quests and need to draw on pure faith has become an integral part of this process.

For both of us, another corner has been reached. The transition from patient to post-recovery. Returning to work, leaving therapy behind. Not being stamped as the girl who had the horrible accident. Me not being stamped as the partner of.... And to a degree, it is happening. I'm looking forward to the day when we strike up a conversation with someone who has no idea this happened. Sympathetic looks, while well intentioned sometimes only salt the wound. The inevitable double edged sword. Incredible community support means that few in the community don't know about this. And let's face it. This blog is the most public of forums. But if this can be a tool for people who might have to or are facing this type of situation, then it is worth it. If this can be a tool for others to better discover their inner paths, I'm glad. If all it did was keep Marilyn's family and friends appraised of her status, thus easing their concern and grief - success!

We're only halfway there. The next six months will be the hardest of all as she exits the support system of therapy and rehabilitation and we try and gain some semblance of our old lives back. The promise of either of our lives getting easier and not having to work as hard once we reached this point, has turned out to be an illusion. So it goes - the ramp steepens and we'll each run twice as fast to keep pace. I say "each" only to underline the fact that we each have very different jobs to do. At least we're doing it together!!

When it's all put into perspective, Marilyn is very, very fortunate (note that I didn't write "lucky") to be where she is today given the extent of her injuries. I'll take that today. But if I had the choice of fast forwarding six months or even better, rewinding six months - I'd take it in an instant.